by Leslie McIntosh Coastal Academy of Hypnotic Arts and Science, School for Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy, BC, Canada

My question today is: What the heck happened to the expression, “You are welcome”.

What happened to our positive, polite, Canadian expression, “You are welcome”. Or, “my pleasure” when someone thanks us. When we use those lovely positive uplifting phrases, we are delivering a feeling of satisfaction for a job well done. Just like our grandmothers, or parents taught us to. But it doesn’t just satisfy Grandma’s rules, it makes us feel good also. Delivering those nice positive phrases to someone else also affects us in a good way.

So- where did that negative expression “no problem” pop into our day to day vernacular? When we hear the word problem, our subconscious mind is immediately going into “fix it” mode, or worry mode. Whether we are consciously aware of it or not, we have been imprinted as children to understand that if there is a problem- then something is wrong. Then our subconscious mind kicks into defense mode, or warning mode. The subconscious warning lights go flashing on, the sirens are set off. Most of the time we don’t notice this response at a conscious level- but our bodies notice and our stress rises.

With the phrase, “no problem”, not only have we suggested subconsciously to our client or friend that there could have been a problem, but we have also presented that feeling to ourselves by bringing up that phrase.

And it’s not just the younger generation that has picked this up! I’m hearing it from the elders who used to be the positive role models.

What led me to write about this today was a recent experience I had. I was purchasing something in a store. The cashier was absolutely wonderful. She floored me, because she was barely out of her teens . By the time I left that store, not only did I feel good about buying there, I felt good inside. Along with a smile, she used phrases like “you are so welcome”, “it’s nice to see you today”, “It’s been my pleasure”. She wasn’t angling for tips. There was no hidden camera. She genuinely meant it. And I will guarantee that she felt good inside. By delivering all of those lovely feelings to me, she was creating them for herself as well.

So you can turn your day around as easily as showing genuine warmth to someone with that simple phrase, “you are so welcome”. Try it and see how good it feels.